


I only need your name to call the reasons why I fight

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Family Dynamics, Gen, Overprotective Dwarves, Protective Siblings, Team as Family, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19377775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Fili loved his brother more than he loved himself, despite his recklessness and the amount of joy and freedom he took from every battle and how strange his infatuation with Elf-folk was, and Fili wouldn't have him any other way, because all those quirks and his head-strong character and his compassion where all things that made Kili who he was, and Fili would never deny his little brother any of that.But their mother wasn't the only one who worried about Kili's wellbeing. In fact, seeing it in person every single day, maybe Fili worried about him even more.





	I only need your name to call the reasons why I fight

**Author's Note:**

> I will admit, this was a bit strange but I'm going on a Hobbit kick recently (I've forgotten how much I love those movies) and once again, Kili and Fili were the two dwarves that stuck out to me. Not because they're the 'attractive dwarves', but because despite the other dwarves being more-or-less related to at least one of the other dwarves, Fili and Kili are the only two that ACT like siblings, and if you're accustomed to my works by now, you know how I love siblings. I'm trying a new thing where I put the first letter of the characters race as a capital because I don't really do that so if you think that it works let me know and I'll keep doing it. 
> 
> Throughout both movies, we were shown again and again how much Fili and Kili love each other and care for one another, so I just felt like I HAD to write something for them. I might not have done them justice, but I did my best and that's all I could have asked for.
> 
> (By the way, I thought to tag Titan's was hard, but holy FUCK was tagging this a challenge. It took me longer to figure out the tags than it did to write the actual fic."

Brothers, they were- both brothers in arms and brothers in blood.

Fili was the oldest, the heir, the one with the most responsibility placed upon his shoulders, and his younger brother, by almost five years, Kili was full of light and laughter and all the craziness of trying to have fun before you die, yet you wouldn’t know they were brothers if it weren’t for how obvious their love for each other affected their every decision.

While they were both taught from an extremely young age to fight and die and bleed in battle, Fili preferred the sharpness of a sword and the spin his throwing axes and weight of a war hammer and preferred to watch for every single move his opponent was going to make before he even thought about making his own. Kili, while skilful with every weapon he could get his hands on, felt much more at ease with his fingers wrapped around the sturdy wood of a bow, the smooth arrow gliding over his skin, the bite of the string against the meat of his digits.

Kili’s mother worried for him because he was reckless and swift and took too much enjoyment out of the thrill of the fight, but fighting was one of the very few things that gave him the rush he needed and knew that he was overwhelmingly good at. He and Fili were their uncle’s best fighters, after all.

But his brother had a much different approach. Fili preferred for enemies to come to him instead of the other way around, and if he got to watch every move and sway and swing his opponent was preparing to make, then he was all the better for it.

They were born and bred for death, and when their time came, they would embrace it with their weapons high, because that’s what they were meant to do.

Despite his brother’s penchant for fun and games and all things dangerous, Fili would lay down his life to protect him, and he knew that Kili would do the same for him, regardless of their opposites.

Fili was the oldest and his younger brother meant more to him than his own life, and every moment he was out of his sight was like an arrow straight to Fili’s heart- he worried about the danger Kili would get into when he was left to his own devices.

When Kili loved, he loved with all his being, even if he did have a preference towards the elven-kind and their fine features and pompous personality, but who was Fili to deny his brother the simple joys of life?

As children, they learned to fight with sticks from their garden, then bigger sticks with more heft to them than was strictly necessary, then kitchen knives to daggers to crudely made swords the blacksmith gave them when they didn’t turn out all that well to swords that they could swing with poise and ease until they moved on to the weapons they kept at their sides at all moments.

But Kili, as is attributed to his wild sort of lifestyle, got wounded more often than Fili would like, and all he said about it was that he had been having fun.

He brought it up with his brother one day when he was binding a wound that ran along the length of his back, because Fili was always better at that type of thing, regardless of where the area was. “You need to be more careful,” He said, focusing on the winding of the bandages around his brother’s bloody torso. “It’s not necessary for you to be injured every time you leave the house. There’s no reason for you to seek out pain.”

Kili had scrunched up his face and grunted as Fili tugged and pulled at him. “It’s not a real adventure if you don’t get hurt a little on the way. Besides- it’s no fun if you be too careful. That takes the excitement out of it.”

“Fighting and adventure aren’t just for fun,” Fili insisted. “I have never met any other dwarf who would value fun over their lives. It’s just not sensible.”

“Why would you fight if not for the thrill?” Kili asked and Fili sighed inwardly because there was no arguing with his little brother when he had his head stuck on an idea. “Nobody wants to do anything if there’s no fun in it, especially if it involves fighting, so why should I? A wound is the best part of any battle- it means that you took as good as you gave.”

Exasperated, Fili could only sigh at his brother's round-about argument and left him to his afterglow.

But Kili was more than just an excellent fighter, more than just another dwarf who lived and died by the tip of a blade. Fili was the heir, groomed by their uncle to take over the rule of the land one day, and therefore he had to be the man their uncle expected him to be and the older brother Kili needed. But Kili was just so much _more._

He took pleasures from the simple things in life, like the feeling of an arrow between his fingers, the sound of the wind whistling through the trees, the feeling of water or wind through his hair, the pain of a well-deserved beating, the slice of a blade through his skin, the feeling of contact, so much contact, he craved the gentle touch of anyone who would give it to him.

While he was crazed and brutal and sometimes savage in the heat of combat, he loved music and women and being by his brother’s side at every moment of every day, and Fili loved it too, but he would never admit it. His brother was a part of him, and Fili wouldn’t ever have it any other way.

Kili was gentle, and thoughtful and filled to the brim with care and Fili wondered on a daily basis how someone so small could fit so much love in him.

Their father died fighting beside their uncle, so Thorin, despite being a leader and a king and a warrior, was forced to be a father to his two rowdy nephews who wanted nothing more than to be just like him. Fili, as oldest and as heir, was treated harsher than Kili was because he expected more from him than he did of his youngest brother, but Fili would never envy him, because who was he to envy his brother everything he wished he himself could have? Kili took the death of their father harder than Fili did, being closer to him and all, so Fili understood what having the freedom to be who he wanted to did for him.

They were the last sons of Durin, and that was a responsibility they held above all else. So when their uncle sent out the word about a meeting at the Shire with the other dwarves in order to go on a secret mission to free a land they had been told stories of since they were children but had never actually seen with their own eyes, their mother wished them well, handing Kili his promise to keep, and they made their way towards their next big adventure.

The Hobbit was… interesting, to say the least. Fili wasn’t quite sure how he felt about him, but he had good food and enough of it, so he was happy enough to have him on the quest as the so-called burglar as long as he brought more food with him.

Maybe it was just the natural compassion that Kili felt towards everyone he met, but he had taken a particular liking to the halfling, more so than Fili himself had or would expect from his brother. So before they had gotten too far into their quest and they were on watch with the horses and their Companies snoring, Fili brought it up. “You’re rather fond of the Halfling, aren’t you?”

“Hobbit,” Kili corrected easily as he puffed at his pipe, the smoke curling up into the night sky to disappear into the wind. “He’s a Hobbit. He doesn’t like being called a Halfling, you could see it in his eyes. His name is Bilbo too, so there’s a hop, skip and a jump in the right direction.”

Fili frowned at him as he got more comfortable on his section of the outcropping. “Why does that matter? We won’t know him for very long- he’ll be gone long before we have any need to remember names.”

“So will we, but he still made the effort to remember all 13 of us, and dwarven names aren’t exactly easy,” Kili admired the stars. “I suppose I am quite fond of him, for what it’s worth.” He turned a tricksy smile onto his brother and Fili resisted smiling back because that look on his brother’s face could only mean mischief. “I was a little furious when Thorin made us leave his home the next day. It was quite lovely. I wonder if we’ll ever have a home?”

“We’re Dwarves,” Fili shrugged. “The road is what calls to us, much before the simple walls of home do. But aye- it would be nice to imagine.”

Kili chuckled but there was a little less humour in it. Fili looked over at him in concern. “You say we have no need for a place to call home but are the 13 of us not questing to a place where we shall surely meet our doom just to have a chance at calling the mountain home again?” He waved his hand before Fili could respond. “Eh, it doesn’t matter. I suppose I am quite fond of him, it’s true. He’s fun and interesting, and it’s not often Dwarves get to meet someone smaller than them.”

For now, Fili thought it best to leave his brother be, so he was willing to indulge. “And the feet. I mean, they’re big and hairy and all, don’t get me wrong, but you wouldn’t catch me dead running through forests and riding ponies and climbing trees without any boots on.”

“You won’t catch me outside of my armour let alone outside of my boots,” Kili joked, despite currently only wearing his loose-fitting undergarments and the Hobbit in question sleeping only a few feet away from where they were sitting. “I wonder if they ever hurt? Blisters maybe. Splinters.”

“Sometimes I can hear him talking in his sleep,” Fili joked and KIli laughed along with him, and suddenly they were back on the road together, just the two of them and the company of the stars, and everything was the same as it had been. “All he talks about is food and cheese and fluffy crumpets. He’s almost as bad as Bombur.”

Fili looked out into the distance, where the horses were slowly grazing in the wide-open field, and Kili turned his attention to the Hobbit asleep with his body curled around his blanket, his hand in his pocket and his face smooched into the dirt. “Thorin doesn’t think he should be here. That he isn’t worthy of being a part of such a quest with us. That he doesn’t deserve to be here.”

“I mean, he’s certainly a little slow in terms of keeping up with us, and I don’t think he’s ever held a sword in his life,” Fili said carefully, keeping an eye on his brother who was still watching the Halfling- no, the Hobbit- sleep soundly, or as soundly as one could on rough stone. “He isn’t a Dwarf and he has that look of someone who’s searching for the right moment to run, but I think that if Gandalf believes he’ll be useful, then I’m willing to trust the wizard.”

Kili was kind and compassionate, that was a fact that Fili knew all too well, so maybe the next words his brother uttered should not have been a surprise. “I will keep him safe. I will fight enough for the two of us if I must because so far he has been helpful, and he ventured all that way from his little hobbit hole to get to us, so I feel that him being sent away will both be a failure to him and a fault to us.”

“And?” Fili asked because there was no way his brother had nothing else on his mind. “You can’t be telling me that you care about this Hobbit just because you believe that him leaving his home is a wonderful thing.”

“Well, no, but witnessing the Lonely Mountain is a wonderful thing, and who are we to take something like that away from him?” Kili shrugged. “I would never forgive myself if I were to do something that would prevent me from being there to see it.”

“It’s different for us,” Fili said. “It’s our home, our heritage. We were told stories of it before we were born. Bilbo had only heard of it recently, so it can’t be as powerful an image for him as it will be for us.”

Kili shrugged. “Gandalf is not one of us but we do not question his right to join us on our way.” Fili bit his lip because his brother’s words were true. “I am not quite sure why I feel so strongly about the Hobbit, but I like him very much. He’s fun, and we don’t get a lot of fun these days, and you know how much I love the thrill of battle, but I don’t think even Dwarves can count fighting like we do every day as fun.”

“He’s new and exciting,” Fili agreed and his brother turned away from the sleeping Bilbo to puff again into his pipe and sigh curling smoke into the night. “I can understand that. You have always been compassionate to all people, even if at first you did not understand them. You are too kind for your years. I hope, in time, that Master Boggins figures that out when the rest of us do.”

Snorting, Kili handed Fili the pipe, who took a grateful breath from it before handing it back and holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment before letting it out in silky tendrils upwards. “Baggins. He made sure to remind me that his name is Baggins, not Boggins, no matter how much better I find that it sounds.” He sighed, and it sounded wistful. He held the pipe to his lips but did not inhale. “I will fight for him, you know. Fight for his right to stay with the Company, fight for his life on the road, fight for his honour if I must, but Bilbo is a great man, and I do not think he deserves to go home any more than we do, and you know how I feel about _that_.”

“I do,” Fili said with the realization that the conversation was concluded like a drowning man accepting his death. “You are just that kind of man. Too kind for your own good. You will fight, that much I am sure of, but let’s hope that you are able to keep up with your boasted claims.”

“I will. You know I will.” Kili almost sounded indignant that his brother would even think about suggesting anything different. “You’ve watched me fight- you’ve fought beside me since I was old and strong enough to lift a blade. You know that I do not fear death and I do not run from any battles that approach me, because I have faith in the blade at my fingers and believe in the skill that I wield.”

Before Fili could reply, an old, sagely voice, familiar yet surprising, interrupted their conversation with an air of someone who had been there unnoticed the whole time. “Well, Master Dwarf, it is a good thing your skill with wielding weapons is as good as you seem to think it is, otherwise, you would have come across quite a few issues in your journeys if you were… wrong.”

Grinning, Kili lowered the slowly dying pipe to his lap and Fili saluted in greeting. “Gandalf! What are you doing awake? I thought you to be exhausted after having to travel all that way.”

Gandalf leant on his staff and nodded at Kili, his grand hat obscuring his eyes for a moment and his hair falling to curl around his shoulders. “You are correct, but I find myself unable to sleep. I think that I shall take over your watch if that’s all the same to you.” He titled his head as if thinking of a rather troubling fact. “I thought Thorin only required one of you to take this watch?”

Fili shrugged. “His eyesight is not what it used to be. Sometimes he calls for Kili when he’s really looking to me, and sometimes he’s scalding Kili and using my name because from a distance we’ve been told we look alike. We thought it best to just use this time to watch together, so our uncle was not disappointed that we disobeyed his orders.”

“A wise choice.” Gandalf bowed and waited for the Dwarves to slide off down the rock and land gently on their feet, and it was only when Kili was mostly past him that he placed a heavy hand on his shoulder and stopped the Dwarf in place. “Did you mean what you said about Bilbo?”

Kili nodded. “Every word.”

“Good,” Gandalf moved away and resumed his position where Kili and Fili stood not but a few moments before. “It is in my humble opinion that our burglar is going to need all the help he can get on this quest.”

When Kili made his way back to the little corner that he and his brother had claimed as their campsite, he saw that Fili had already taken out his belongings and laid a blanket on the ground beside where he was already lying, wrapped up in the thin fabric, a pillow under his head. “What did Gandalf want?” He asked as he watched his brother clamber noisily under the blanket. In the darkness, Ori snorted in his sleep.

“Oh, nothing,” Kili lied. “He just wanted to ask about fighting, is all. Nothing to worry about.”

Fili had always been good at telling when his brother was lying, and this was one of those times, but Kili obviously wanted him to drop it, so he let it go. “You’re too reckless, you know.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kili replied as he nestled back against his pillows. The rocky ground was uncomfortably digging into his back, but there wasn’t really much else to go, so he remained where he was.

Holding back a sigh, Fili turned over to face his brother and roughly pushed a tangled strand of hair away from Kili’s face and back where it belonged. “You don’t pay attention when attention is needed and sometimes you rush into a battle without thinking of the consequences and I don’t know why you do it but I follow you into battle anyway.”

Kili turned to him then with that glint in his eye and sharp curl to his smirk. “That’s why I don’t worry- because I have you to watch my back.”

“Very true. Which means you already know that the only reason I fight is because of you,” Fili rested his hand lightly on his brothers face and unsurprisingly, Kili didn’t pull away. “I call your name to give cause to my fight, and if me being at your back means that you fight better, then I am more than happy to be there. But it is not just our mother who worries about your recklessness. You need to look before you leap- Throin allowed us to come on this quest because he thought we were worthy of it. The last thing we can do now is to show him that we are not.”

Smiling, Kili turned to Fili with that gleam in his eye, but it was no longer shining with mischief but with love. “I know. And I swear to you, I will try and remain in one piece through this venture, at least until we return back home to mother.” His hand slipped into his pocket where Fili knew his smooth, black rune-stone resided.

Fili nodded. “Good. I worry about you. I find it very difficult to discern why it is you do not worry about yourself more often.”

That cheeky shine was back in his brother’s eyes and Kili reached over and patted a frowning Fili on the cheek like he would a child who could never hope to understand all the wonders of the world. “Because I have you to do all the worrying for me, and everyone knows you do enough worrying for the both of us.”

And he was absolutely right.

Despite it all, Fili was the oldest brother, the heir to the throne of Durin, the one with Thorin’s expectations placed heavily upon his shoulders, the warnings of his forbearers ringing in his ears. He was expected to be the better brother, and Kili was expected to live the life he wanted, with all the compassion and kindness and rare bouts of shyness and recklessness and his odd affinity for the elven kind if that’s what he wanted.

But Fili loved him, despite all his flaws and his outrageousness and his oddities, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 150th work to me!


End file.
